Doulas and Domestic Violence
Posted on:
June 16, 2025 | Doula, Doula Self Care, Doula Training
Doulas witnessing domestic violence, or even suspecting domestic violence is not as uncommon as you may think…
Postpartum doulas play a crucial role in the lives and well-being of the families they support. Daily, or nightly at-home care enables the development of close relationships between the doula and client. It places the doula in a unique position to potentially witness signs of abuse and/or domestic violence.
With little to no information on how to navigate such situations, it is critical for both the safety of the client and the doula to learn more.
Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence
Doulas and domestic violence. Domestic violence can reveal itself in a variety of ways. This can include physical, emotional, financial, and/or psychological abuse. Doulas should be aware of the following warning signs:
- Physical Indicators: Bruises, burns, or fractures, particularly if injuries appear in different stages of healing.
- Emotional and Behavioral Changes: Client seems anxious, withdrawn, fearful, or overly apologetic.
- Restricted Communication: The abuser may insist on being present during the doula’s visits, limiting the client’s ability to speak freely. Client may minimize or make excuses for their partner’s behavior
- Financial Control: Unusual financial struggles despite having a stable income
Doulas and Domestic Violence – Responding Safely
While postpartum doulas are not social workers or police, there are some essential steps they can take to help a client in a domestic violence situation.
- Immediate Safety is the Priority
- If a client is in immediate danger, the doula should prioritize their own safety first and call 911.
- The doula should avoid direct confrontation with the suspected abuser, as this can escalate the situation.
- Create a Safe Space for Communication
- If possible, speak to the client privately, without the presence of the suspected abuser.
- Use open-ended questions such as, “I’ve noticed some changes… Can you tell me a little bit about what’s happening for you?”
- Avoid making assumptions or pressuring the client to disclose information.
- Encourage Professional Support
- Provide information on local domestic violence resources, such as hotlines and shelters.
- If the client is receptive, help them connect with a professional who can assist them in developing a safety plan.
- Reach out for Support
- If you are a doula affiliated with an agency, bring the situation to the attention of the agency owner as quickly as possible
- Reach out to ProDoula for guidance and support – (914) 400-3494
Self-Care for Doulas Witnessing Domestic Violence
Supporting a client in a seemingly abusive relationship can be emotionally exhausting for a postpartum doula. You may carry the weight of witnessing the person’s pain, while feeling absolutely powerless and struggling with navigating boundaries. Prioritizing your own well-being is crucial to you continuing on your own professional journey…
The following are some considerations for your own well-being:
- Acknowledge your feelings – It’s okay to feel sadness, frustration, helplessness, or even anger. Suppressing emotions can lead to burnout.
- Debrief with a trusted mentor or colleague – Share (without breaching confidentiality) with someone who understands the weight of this work.
- Journal your thoughts – Writing can help process emotions and separate yourself from the situation.
- Consider therapy or professional support – A trauma-informed therapist can help you navigate the emotions that arise from supporting trauma survivors.
