Doula Clients are so Needy

Posted on: June 30, 2025 | Doula, Doula Inspiration, Doula Training

Let’s just get this out of the way: yes, doula clients are needy. That’s literally why they hired you.

Maybe it’s because they just had a baby… or, they’re about to. 

Maybe it’s because their body doesn’t feel like their own? Their sleep has been completely obliterated? The hormonal shift is kicking their ass?

Maybe it’s because everyone around them keeps saying, “Let me know if you need anything” but they can’t think of a single thing they need….

Could it be because they are navigating a system that’s treating them like a chart instead of a person?
Or is it because they don’t want to Google another thing that takes them down a rabbit hole they didn’t agree to go down?

Oh, I know! It’s because doula clients are terrified, excited, exhausted, irritated, leaking, healing, overwhelmed, vulnerable and anxious… and they know YOU are the only one who won’t judge or criticize them.

C’mon doulas… They’re needy because birth and the postpartum period are needy. It’s not a flaw in them. It’s a feature of this massive, identity-shattering, body-wrecking, soul-crushing transition.

Doula clients need emotional support. Reassurance. Information. Snacks. Someone to tell them they’re not losing their fucking mind at 2 a.m. Someone to really care when their OB and says, “You’re only 3 centimeters.”

Throughout my 30 year career in this industry, I’ve heard too many doulas say, “My client is so needy,” and to that I say… “It might be time to revisit why you became a doula in the first place…”

This work is intimate, raw, and yes… it’s demanding. Our clients are in the middle of a life-altering experience. Of course they need more… More time. More compassion. More presence. That’s the whole point of hiring a doula.

But here’s the worst part: they’re not actually too needy. They’re just used to a system that has told them they’re “too much” for needing basic human connection during the most vulnerable transition of their entire lives…

So, sweet doula, in closing, I want to remind you to pause, to take a breath… and to acknowledge that your clients are in fact needy.

I want you to count your blessings because it is you that they need. And that means that you get to be the one who shows them that needing support isn’t a flaw, it’s actually a reminder that they’re human.