Fear of Success and Fear of Failure

Posted on: August 1, 2019 | Doula Fear of success

Fear of success and fear of failure have been the culprits for a long time. We’re all familiar with them, right? I mean, we’ve all done it… we’ve made excuses for not pursuing a dream that was placed in our hearts. 

  • We told ourselves we’re too old to start something new… 
  • We said we’re too young, no one will take us seriously…
  • We don’t have any experience…
  • We never finish anything we start…
  • We can’t afford it…
  • We’re not cut out for it…

These are the fallacies that we convince ourselves of in order to protect us from one of the two most enormous fears on earth.

Fear of Success 

Success, the double edged sword. On one side is the beauty, the excitement, the doors opening and the most polished version of ourselves walking through them! Ahhh… We have arrived. We set out on the course of achieving success and we followed through. We made it! 

Great, right? Well, yes, it’s great BUT…. 

  • What if I can’t maintain it?
  • What if things arise that I am unable to navigate?
  • What if I can’t handle the responsibility of it?
  • What if I want out?

It’s all legit. “What ifs” have been holding people back for ever. But the bottom line is you can’t judge how you’ll feel about success, based on where you are right now. You simply don’t know what resources you’ll have at the level of success you are fearing.

For example, “What if you can’t handle the responsibility of that level of success?” I can tell you right now that you can’t! And because you can’t, you will hire others to help you. You can’t imagine that right now because hiring someone is not in your budget… YET!

And that’s the thing about fear of success, you have NO IDEA what success even looks like while you’re busy fearing it…

Fear of Failure

Failure… What could possibly be worse??? No one wants to be labeled a failure. Failure equals disgrace, embarrassment, inability and disappointment…

So we do everything in our power to avoid it, right?

  • We procrastinate.
  • We avoid responsibility.
  • We get comfortable with discontentment.
  • We let the future find us in the same place the past left us…
  • And we feel like shit about all of it.

Do you ever seek inspiration because you know you want more out of life but ultimately, let fear hold you back? You’re not alone. I swear.

  • Q. So what do you do about it? 
  • A. I’m so glad you asked!

The top 3 ways to address Fear of Success and Fear of Failure.

1. Own it!

Give it a name and recognize it for exactly what it is. Fear is not real. It is based on illusions and “what ifs.” Greet it like an old acquittance, “Oh fear of success, nice to see you again but I won’t be hanging out with you today.” And then discuss it with a supportive friend or family member. Sometimes all it takes to push past fear of success or fear or failure is a little empathy, encouragement and belief!

2. Control it!

That’s right, take control over the parts you can fix and leave the other crap behind! Let’s say it’s fear of failure and you’re thinking, “I can’t take a doula training, I don’t know any pregnant people who would want me as their doula.”

First of all, do you see all of the freakin’ power that a statement like that gives away?!?!?

Take control of the parts you can fix. Make a list of where pregnant people hangout.

  • Doctor’s offices
  • Maternity stores
  • Baby stores
  • Childbirth classes
  • Yoga studios
  • Day spas
  • Keep going!

Think about who you know that works in a doctor’s office, a maternity store, a baby store, childbirth classes (you might even think about teaching childbirth classes yourself to meet pregnant people), yoga studios, etc. Your network is likely larger than you think so you can kiss that fear of failure goodbye!

3. Release it!

Once you realize this fear is no longer serving you, you will step beyond it. I promise, it will show up unannounced again in the future, but now you’ve got some tools for managing it!

So don’t let fear be what stops you from pursuing a dream! Take a doula training!

Believe that a dream is not placed in your heart if there is no plan in place to achieve it!

Authored by: Randy Patterson